god complex?

Hey friends,

That last one was a little dark. I’m not going to try and sugar coat it and say that things are better now, but they’re not as bad as that night. There’s just something about late nights that really bring the worst out of you.

Anyways, since then we’ve made a few discoveries.

The one I’m having the hardest time dealing with however is that I may have a bit of god complex?

I’ve always thought that I had something closer to a savior complex. According to Psychology Today this is “A psychological construct which makes a person feel the need to save other people. This person has a strong tendency to seek people who desperately need help and to assist them, often sacrificing their own needs for these people.”

That’s me. I seek others who I deem to be in need of “saving” and do everything I can for them, I want them to need me, but man isn’t that so messed up? To only talk to someone to give me that weird satisfaction?

It is. I am aware of that now. Or at least, I thought I was. I tried justifying this behavior with “oh at least I’m helping someone, so it’s not too bad”. But now I am aware that I don’t really care about the needy part. I just want to be right, I want people to acknowledge me as important, as a better.

Man writing about it is weird.

I think there’s more complexity in it but that’s the gist of it. Maybe once I find a therapist I’ll be able to better understand the whole thing.

’till next time.